I am known as the “quiet, reserved one” at work. I have a tendency to observe more so than speak up or talk. Not like I don’t like to talk, but when you work in a call center, there’s enough talk going on as it is. Also since I was young, I have a problem when speaking. A speech impediment, possibly. I stay away from certain words for a reason – because either I simply cannot pronounce them or they turn out to be completely inappropriate – which I don’t intend at all. I’ve always envied my Mom or my younger sister who could enunciate words with no problem, or who could read a book aloud with no hesitations. I’m much better reading silently, to myself. I also have a problem when the thinking gets in the way of speaking. I say something that isn’t related to the topic AT ALL and I feel miniscule when the audience gives me the what-the-hell-did-you-just-say? look. It’s better that I simply do not talk. Which works out perfectly fine if/when I can work with people who understand this.
I believe my boss understands, now. About five hours into my shift today, I had a meeting that was supposed to last ten or so minutes, which turned nearly an hour (I was starving.. had to silence my grumbling stomach in the quiet office). We were going over some material and possibly revising it. Sitting to my right was my boss, next to her, another associate then to my left, my boss’s manager. After several minutes of the three of them discussing options/scenarios, my boss said I can chime in at any time. I nodded because I hear those words all the time. “Chime in.” I think everything that was said up until that point was right-on. I really didn’t have anything to offer, and I felt out of place. And hungry. I did notice after skimming the material that there was a misspelling and it seemed to jump off the page at me and it surprised me that no one noticed this. Misspellings drive me insane. I decided to keep quiet with this because it’ll make me look as if I’ve just been paying attention to the spelling rather than the content, which isn’t true at all. I can read silently rather quickly and still absorb 100% of the content. After the meeting I returned to my desk and quietly announced I was going on lunch. After a much needed food-stuffing-fest, the room temp dropped and I put my sweater on. It’s more of a running joke now since I usually have it on than not. My boss said “here goes the sweater again.”
I replied, which was out of character, for work “Whatever.” She started to laugh.
I had pretty much no problem speaking up when I was in the Military – though at first I know I was completely out of my element. I was a bit shy going in and towards the last half I was all-too-confident that nothing/no one could break me. Nothing. Now, I need to get that confidence back. But how?
This past weekend my boyfriend gave me a loud wake-up-call of sorts. We both need to do more things away from the apartment, together – fun things. It is hard finding fun things to do that are free or close by and that not every other couple/family out there is doing. We love walking by the Canal in downtown Indianapolis but when the weather is nice, everyone else is there, too. It’s funny, I get lost/turned around while downtown but when I lived near Seattle, WA I was just fine yet Seattle is MUCH bigger and many, many more one-way streets to count. And visiting Circle Center Mall, Eagle Creek Park where there’s a big lake you can go boating on and walk on numerous trails. 🙂 I guess I don’t have any excuses now… The weather has been unseasonably warm. It hit 83 here yesterday! So nice out.. this weekend will be in the 70’s – rainy but still nice. No more chances of snow, so that’s great.
I got a bit crafty for dinner tonight. OK this isn’t for dinner, more so a dessert and a surprise for Clint when he gets home from work in the morning: I had bought a package of strawberries last Saturday and have yet to do anything with them, then a great idea popped into my mind. I melted some semi-sweet chocolate chips in a measuring cup and dipped the clean but dry strawberries tip first into the chocolate and carefully held the berries while sprinkling them with finely chopped walnuts. The other batch I sprinkled… get this… GREEN COLORED COCONUT FLAKES! Hahaha YES!! I don’t know why but I thought the gel food coloring (all I had was that, not the usual stand-by liquid drops) would stick better if I put a little water in the measuring cup and mix it together. I poured too much by accident and it took about a half hour for the flakes to dry. So as they dried, I did the walnut batch first. I lined a rectangular cake pan with wax paper and folded it up so that just the bottom would be lined. Finally the green coconut was done drying so I carefully sprinkled that onto the chocolate and had them rest pointy up in the pan. I stuck it in the fridge so hopefully by morning they’ll be hard enough to eat. Now, I’m pretty sure I bought the wrong chocolate, just Hershey’s Semi-Sweet Morsels… technically baking chocolate but I don’t think it’ll set the way I anticipated. Oh well, this was my first attempt. 🙂 I guess you want to see a pic of how they turned out, huh?
For dinner: I already had leftover spaghetti and so I made some baked chicken breasts. I seasoned them with the usual stuff: Mrs. Dash but I also topped the chickens with some garlic butter sauce from Papa John’s… don’t diss it. It’s actually REALLY GOOD! I made enough for dinner tonight and lunch for work tomorrow. I think if I had another ham + turkey + cheese sandwich I’ll die. I’m still hungry even after eating dinner so I’ll find something to snack on… chips probably. Going to snack and relax enough to sleep soon. It being Friday tomorrow (thankfully Friday is almost here!) the traffic will be hell in the morning so I’m forcing myself to go to bed early so I can have plenty of time to get ready and go to work.
Happy St. Patrick’s Eve.