So much for that…

After spending a good portion of my evening finding pictures I’ve taken or that my boyfriend has.. cropping them to the specified dimensions WordPress requires for headers, upon uploading said photos, I discovered that WordPress automatically crops pictures. D’oh! Well, at least I know this now…

I was good today and limited my junk-food intake at work. I also drank only one mt. dew vs. two cans – the rest of the day I had plain water. I had less headaches. 🙂 For dinner tonight I made fish (the oven did, anyway – bread battered but nice and crunchy); couscous (I haven’t had it in YEARS) and sliced carrots.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a numbers type person. From my days working at Wal-mart, I can recall the 24pk of Sam’s Choice water UPC code. 78742-09633 (I’m pretty sure that’s it). When it came to remembering the four digit codes for produce, within a week I had the entire list memorized. They’re also universal – within the US as far as produce codes go. Bananas are always 4011. (right? – ah crap, I’m second guessing myself) I bring this up because I remember nearly every phone number my family and I had since growing up. In the 30 years I’ve been on this planet, I have moved a grand total of… 20 times. Also, nearly address as well. Insane, right?

The dishes are all done, and I’m worn out – and hot. :/ The oven heated up the entire apartment it seems and I’m tempted to open the windows to bring in some cooler air inside. Just checked the weather on my phone, it is 50 degrees outside. Dude. Just get rid of winter, and spring should be here since it wasn’t much of a winter this year.

I’m so thankful that we didn’t get another ice storm like early Feb 2011. The forecast called for a few inches of light snow, but it turned out to be a few inches of ICE on top of tightly packed/heavy snow. I wasn’t able to go to work much less safely walk to my car to defrost it. I ended up crawling on my hands and knees till I decided to not even bother going in. My apartment complex wasn’t treated the night before, and it wasn’t until late afternoon when the salt trucks came out with the snow plows, by then my shift had already ended. At the time, I worked at a thankless job – aka a gas station. I was a manager assistant yet the pay was laughable. I was happy to have a job, though, don’t get me wrong. The pay was just awful – so was my manager – but it is very difficult to find a job & a boss you love. At my job now, I’m an admin assistant – I guess I’m doing more work (all computer work vs dealing with customers face-to-face) and getting paid what I should be, which is a great thing. Now I can finally dig myself out of debt once and for all.

I’ve mentioned this to one other person, but I have a bad feeling that this fall/winter will be bad. Not the weather, or the world ending – though that’s up for debate. My younger sister is getting married in October in England and having a second reception here in the States when she and her fiancee visit for the holidays. Now, my family is rather strained. That’s the understatement of the decade. I would love nothing more than to “build a bridge and get the hell over it” but they [my dad’s side] are incapable. They love to dig up things from the past and shove them in my face. The same as if a dog made a mess and you stick it by their nose to force them to learn their lesson. I know I should probably forget everything that has happened, but it is hard – how do you simply forget your own father? Even if he wasn’t around much when you were growing up, when home, he was holed up in his office working on his business. The thing that is in the back of my mind, my younger sister and my Dad get along. This, I do not understand. At all. I see right through his BS and I don’t put up with it, so I distance myself. In doing so, I’m afraid I won’t be invited to the reception. Knowing the family, it will be at my Dad’s house – everyone else will be there, I’ll see pictures on Facebook with smiling faces, plates full of food, etc etc yet I wasn’t included. Or invited.

Why try to be family when they back-stab you in the process? That is NOT family, by any means.

My dad divorced my mom back in ’99 (I think – I’m bad with time/events) and remarried a few years later. I don’t get along with my step-mom, but I sure as hell attempted. We used to be ‘friends’ on FB until she didn’t like one of my comments, and deleted me. There are times when I don’t like friends’ comments online but I don’t end up deleting them over it! How old are we now? She’s very high strung and everything MUST go her way, if not, you’re thrown to the side. My dad as changed since marrying her. He used to be so passive/nice – he is a little now, but follows her lead more than ever and it’s so sad. Whenever we spoke on the phone, I knew he’d be following some “talking points” via post-it that she wrote down for him to discuss with me, as if he doesn’t have a brain of his own.

His birthday was today. I’ve deleted their phone numbers from my cell, and I’m out of stamps. Not really in the mood to mail off a card that after this non-communication, they’ll end up doing one of two things: 1 – call me up, or write back and ask how things are or 2 – throw it away without opening it. I’m betting the second.

  • The last time we non-communicated, my dad took me to court and sued me. Over $600 something dollars.  [A back story: I was living with an ex boyfriend who was later charged of domestic battery and was evicted. To make up the lost rent money, my dad offered to pay the half until my lease was up. After that, I was on a repayment plan. Things were going good until I was involved in a car accident, which I lost my job because I had no way in getting to work. I told him this, yet he wanted payment anyway. My tax check that year didn’t go to debt or him, but to car repairs. He demanded payment. He was well-off, I was not. I went days without eating just so I’d have gas money to find a job. A month later, he sent me a summons to appear in court. The judge said this is a family matter, and not a court matter. Asked us to step out and work this out, as a family. My dad demanded I start paying $100/mo beginning Aug of that year (This was May 2010) and I had no job. I was livid. I found a job by late August and paid him off as soon as possible.] I have never forgiven him.
  • The time before that, he invited me to Christmas Dinner, then a few days later called up and said I was uninvited to be with ‘her’ family, but I’m more than welcome to come over to Christmas Gathering with the two of them.

Anyway, it’s getting late and writing all this didn’t really help with my stress levels. I should get into boxing or running – seriously! Or drink more water, less Mt. Dew and coffee.. (:

Happy Wednesday Night