Confessions · Family · Personal · Uncategorized · Work

OK so maybe I do have a problem

with managing stress. I can’t seem to just let things go. Unfortunately this isn’t a recent issue either, I’ve been like this for years. I read up on WebMD on how to work through it and though it may be helpful for others, I do not ever see myself doing Yoga, or keeping a stress journal. Isn’t what this is? I used to think if I had everything in order (at home: keep things from getting cluttered, clean weekly if not daily) that I’d be happy. This is not the case.

My mom was a Cleaning Freak and even she would admit to that. While growing up, there wasn’t really such thing as sleeping in our household. We were to get up by 7 or 8 am, make up our beds, get dressed, brush our hair, head downstairs, fix/eat breakfast, put the dishes in the sink/dishwasher and then start on our daily chores. This was more-so reserved for the weekends as during school we had enough on our plate in the mornings. After school though, we ended up doing some sort of cleaning. I remember one time I was early in my teen years and moped about the house, complaining that I was bored. What did my mom have in store for me? To clean/organize the garage. Two-car, might I add. Normally, I’d whine and beg to get out of it but instead I did it. My Dad was amazed when he came home that evening to find that I had mopped the floor and swept away all the cobwebs from the corners. My mom helped me with carrying out the larger/heavier things. I’ll never forget that. That was probably the most productive during my childhood. I was the messiest person I knew. I’m still a bit that way but generally I like to be clean and orderly throughout the living space.

Sorry, got off track there. Basically I was attempting to follow what my mom did: clean = happiness but I really don’t think that’s right. It worked out well for her, but to constantly clean – that isn’t fun. Might have been easier to train two developing young women to do the cleaning for you, but I do not have that luxury.

Been having trouble sleeping or sleeping for too long. No appetite (and losing weight – grr). Turkey Day is less than a week away. Normally I’d be super stoked about it (hell this year is the FIRST TIME in a long time I’m getting it off, paid!) and I’m not thrilled, at all. Something is off.

It could have something to do with my new job. The call center. Training is complete, finally. We hit the phones on Monday. I had a “fake” call today, we practiced with our fellow classmates. Luckily, my customer helped me throughout the call. I forgot the script, even though I had it in front of me. I get agitated if others are talking/whispering and I kept pausing and sort of yelled at them to ahem.. SHUT UP but that didn’t do much good. Soon after the call, I was instructed to go down to the floor and listen in to live calls. I picked my desk among other seasoned CSR’s rather than those in my class. Lots of them like to joke/mess around. I’d like to be focused and learn from the best. I’ll need to bring in a blanket to cover up as it is quite chilly. I don’t really understand why, unless its to keep us from falling asleep.

Meh. I’m doing the laundry as to get it out of the way. I do enjoy doing the laundry, just not so much during the weekend when you’re supposed to be relaxing. 🙂 Snackfoods are calling my name.

Happy Friday Night