So, my friend talked to the ex last night and somehow convinced him (without intending to) that I was unstable and didn't consider him as a friend (I was venting, who wouldn't be upset?) that he decided not to let me use his car anymore. Ever.
She also arranged this talk between the ex and I last night. She told me he wanted me to ask him why he chose to do that, and why I'm feeling the way I am. It made no sense to me, but I figured I may get some answers. He said she told the same thing… but vice-versa. So, neither one of us really wanted to talk in the first place. I don't know what her motives are, but it's driving me nuts.
So I'm more stuck than I was, say, a week ago. I know it's his car and all, but it was a way for me to be independent on my own. That makes no sense. To be literally on my own, I can't depend on others, but I hope someone will understand that.
He said he can't figure me out now or even before. I told him I'm the same person as I was before we started to date, though a bit lighter in weight. I did slip and tell him I'm more depressed than I had mentioned in the past. He said at the time that he didn't want me to take anti-depressants because I didn't "need" them. Who makes him a doctor to decide that? That and it'd be up to me to pay for them, I know that. An arm and a leg, at least.
Its just frustrating when you can't even communicate to your significant other. No wonder we failed. He said I have this bubble around me, and I hide my feelings/emotions inside so no one else can see them. Well duh! I barely trusted him as of a few months ago. I was convinced he was in constant contact with my sister then my Dad and step-mom. Though, he said he rarely ever talked to them. Yet he was able to talk to my sister about his soon to be breakup with me. That just really makes me mad. He doesn't see why I'm so angry about that.
He says that I don't tell him things, and don't ask him things that I should know. I told him he's unapprochable. He is. I'm able to talk to Royal O.K. about these things because he doesn't interrupt or pre-judge me on it, or roll his eyes or do any of the rude things the ex does.
I woke up while the ex was leaving for work and had this insanely huge urge to eat. I ate four Ritz cracker peanut butter sandwiches. I'm a kid at heart. but I need to get back to sleep and get some sort of a normal sleep thing going on before I get up in 'bout three or so hours.